Secrets and Lies
by bluebead1
Summary: Edward Cullen. It was a mask. A persona I had to hide behind everyday to avoid being cast from my family. That all changed the day they arrived. The day he arrived. This is my story. - ExJ Slash - Story adopted from Athey. M for a reason.
1. Chapter 1

**AN: I have adopted this story from '****Athey****', creative acknowledgement to her for letting me play with her toys. This is not my first shot at FanFiction and I am not from America so my writing has not been 'Americanized' by my Beta yet. I have been planning to write a vamp-slash story for a while but never had the time or incentive to finish my drafts until I stumbled upon this beauty.**

**I do not plan to make great changes to the story, just a few tweaks here a there to fit into the future plans. I really hope I don't let you all down with it; chapters will be shorter than the original ones. Enjoy and please let me know how I'm doing please.**

**Overall Disclaimer:**

**Characters and other things from the Twilight universe are all copyright to Stephanie Meyer. This story is written under the derivative works act and no profits are being made. All rights retained by Stephanie Meyer.**

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Prologue

My entire body was rigid. On edge. I was squeezing the steering wheel so tightly my knuckles were turning white and I could hear and feel the metal beneath my hands bending and warping. I had the peddle all the way to the floor and we were flying down the road as fast as my 53' Cadillac El Dorado could go.

Jasper reached across the seat, placed his hand on my thigh and rubbed his thumb in gentle circles. I smirked as I felt the gentle waves of calm flow through my body; I finally decided to stop fighting it and just let him calm me down.

I let up on some of the pressure my foot was putting on the pedal and our speed started to slow. 80Mph was slightly more reasonable on the car. I didn't want to hurt my baby, I'd had it less than five months and it was thing of pure beauty. 210 Horse Power engine, 14-Karat gold plated door mouldings, red leather interior, and a black canvas convertible top. It was a concept car, and I had gotten one of them. Of course this meant that Caddy only made 530 of them so it would be a pain in the ass to try and replace it if I did any irreparable damage to it. Parts weren't exactly easy to come by either... at all. Usually, if I did anything stupid, Rosalie would shove me out of the way and dive under the hood, working her magic but... I suppose that's not really an option anymore.

The steering wheel buckled a little under my right hand and I released it completely, cringing internally to the dents on my once pristine wheel as I steered with my left hand loosely gripping the wheel.

Jasper reached up and grabbed my right hand, pulling it down to rest on his thigh, rubbing calm, soothing circles into the back of my hand with his thumb. I glanced over at him with a sad concern in my eyes, but he just gave me a soft smile and nodded. Even his mind was quiet, then again, it usually was. Mostly he was worried about me. Worried how I was taking what had happened.

He could tell I was angry. It didn't take an empath to figure that out. It was obvious.

I was angry. And I had every right to be angry. Although I wasn't the least bit angry about what Esme had said to _me_. I'd been expecting it. I'd been expecting it for _decades_. I'd been waiting for it to happen.

There had always been a little voice in the back of my mind that hoped that when the day finally came, when the truth was revealed, I would be surprised. That my expectations would be thrown out the window and she would be happy; accept it, and that she would not so much as even seem to _care_ about any of it.

But I knew that was a ridiculous fantasy that would never come to pass.

And it hadn't.

I hadn't been surprised. Things had played out exactly as I had anticipated. Even down to the smallest details.

The others had been stunned, shocked. When I'd told them why I had hidden my truths for so long... why I had lied to them for so long... they couldn't believe it. They didn't _want_ to believe it. They thought I was just exaggerating. There was no possible way things could be as bad as I was expecting. It just didn't mesh with their idea of Esme. The Esme they all knew, and the one I described were so counter to each other that they just couldn't process the idea. Someone so motherly and warm couldn't have those thoughts, those beliefs. But she did, and she always had. And they were there, they witnessed it all. They couldn't deny what happened because they saw it.

I felt bad leaving Alice behind, and yet I was glad it was just Jasper and I in the car right now.

Alice had insisted. She said that she needed to stay behind. She still had work to do to make sure everything worked out the way she needed. Esme still didn't know about Alice. But it's really only a matter of time before she finds out. The others all knew now, and I was the only member of that family that had ever been able to keep anything secret. Eventually one of them would slip and Esme would find out about Alice and when she did, she'd kick her out too.

Alice would be able to find us though, I was sure of that. If anyone could, it was her. She found us to begin with. She'd do it again. All I could do now was hope that she knew what she was doing. Alice always seemed to have some big master plan that only those she deemed necessary needed to know the result.

I hated it, honestly.

She still insisted that everything would end up alright, that there was a chance we'd all be together again as a family, some day. That a day would come when Jasper and I would be living with the family and Esme would be happy and accepting of it.

Despite what Alice had shown me, I couldn't honestly say I even cared. I wasn't sure I ever wanted to go back. Not to her, anyway. I had been stuck for years keeping myself hidden. To be honest, while I could understand where her views came from, I resented her for it.

Because I _was_ angry.

Not at what she had said to me. No. I was expecting all of that, I may resent her but I was numb to it by now. No. I was angry because of what she had said to _Jasper_. What she had called him. What she had _accused him of. _Like this was somehow his fault.

Even if someday she got over her prejudices, and _forgave me_ for lying all these years... I really wasn't sure if I could ever forgive her for her hate towards him.

"So where we head'n darlin'? You got any plans, or r'we just driving to nowhere?" Jasper drawled looking over at me out the corner of his beautiful eye and breaking the silence that had permeated the car for the last forty minutes.

I smiled at his thick accent. I really did love it.

"Just driving," I said, feeling some of the weight lifting off my chest, finally. "Got anywhere you'd like to go? We can go anywhere, really."

He hummed for a moment, his head rolling to the side to look at me full on as he thought over different places in his mind. A smile spread across his face and it spread across mine too as I plucked the place from his mind. "How 'bout Vegas?"

I chuckled.

"You got it."

As I drove my mind began to wander. This really was a new chapter in my life. And one that I was sure would be a much, much better than any before it. But this wasn't the beginning of our story. For that we'd need to go back a few months to the day that I met Jasper.

The day that was going to change my life forever.

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**AN: I'm really worried that you are all going to hate it so please either moan at me or give me some love for continuing for Athey. Again, no major changes will be made.**


	2. Chapter 2: The mask I am

**AN: I have loved all of your reviews and my inbox has been completely overwhelmed with the constant messages of 'Favourites' and 'Alerts'. Because of this, and the massive boost to my ego every message gave me, I am giving you another chapter. Do not expect this all the time though, I'm just giving you a reward so you will all tell me how amazing I am some more...**

Chapter 1 - Edward

My name is Edward Masen. You heard me. _Masen._ I was born in 1901 in Chicago Illinois to Elizabeth Masen and Edward Masen Sr.

I don't remember my father at all, and that fact often brings me some guilt, because there are other things I remember very clearly that apparently took priority in my mind when my brain was choosing which memories to wipe away and which to keep while I burned through my change into this... existence.

In 1918 Edward Masen Sr., Elizabeth Masen and Edward Masen Jr. all died of the Spanish Influenza. After that I was just _Edward_ for a while.

My father died first. He died at home in his bed with my mother by his side, crying. I fell ill the next day. Terrified of loosing both her husband and son, my mother took me to the hospital. Problem was that the city was in the middle of an epidemic. The hospital was over flowing with the dead and the dying.

She stayed with me, trying to care for me, but when you're surrounded by that much sickness there really is no way to avoid catching it yourself. So, despite the fact that I fell ill first, she died first. She exhausted herself trying to keep me alive, trying to make me better, and only resulting in her death.

The doctor that was taking care of us when she died was truly a beautiful man. Even in the midst of my sickened, hazy, delusional mind, I came around enough to see him. Enough to appreciate that, if I was going to die, at least I was going to die looking at the most beautiful man I'd ever seen in my whole life.

My mother spoke to him just before she died. I was completely out of it at the time, but I would later learn that she had asked our doctor to make a promise to her, to swear that he would do absolutely everything within his power to save me.

I don't know if she fully realized what she was doing or not. If she completely realized what she was asking and _who_ she was asking it of. Because it turned out that our doctor wasn't what he appeared. He was a vampire.

A vampire named Carlisle Cullen.

Carlisle put a sheet over my head and wheeled me out of the ward of dying patients towards the morgue. No one questioned it. Why would they? People were dying everywhere. What was one more body?

He took me from the hospital and managed to get me back to his house undiscovered.

He changed me that night. The night that Edward Masen died and _just_ _Edward_ replaced him.

I woke to my new existence with a peculiar new skill, at first I thought the change had driven me crazy until Carlisle explained to me that some of our kind were gifted with rare, unique powers, and I was apparently one of those few. I could hear his thoughts. Not just his, but everyone's. But only his thoughts were the ones that mattered to me.

I quickly learned that he had been thinking about creating a companion for years now. He was lonely and exhausted from his solitude. When my mother had asked him to save me, part of him was ridiculously excited by the idea. He felt guilty for that; selfish, really; but would never admit it to me aloud. However I could hear his thoughts; he couldn't hide anything from me. Not for long.

But I kept things hidden from him.

It's incredibly easy to keep secrets from people when you can hear their thoughts. You can anticipate when they may be suspecting things and can change your actions, or carefully plan your words to mislead them in the direction you want. I've mastered the art of lying. No one is better at it than I am.

And part of me hates that.

I was filled with both great dreams and terrible fears during my first year with Carlisle. We had to stay away from civilization during that time, while I learned to control my vampire thirst. That year with just the two of us, alone in a cabin in the woods was incredible. Carlisle was amazing to me. It was idol worship. I realize that now, he was the only other contact I had with anyone, human or vampire. But I was utterly infatuated with him. I was in awe of him. His thoughts of wanting a companion put a seed of hope in the back of my mind, but the way his thoughts always reflected a fatherly caring for me, always shoved that hope back down.

I had no idea how Carlisle would react if he knew of my feelings. I had no idea what his opinion on _that sort of thing_ was. He had lived so much longer than me, and I learned early on that his father had been a pastor; a religious man. I had known religious men, and I knew what they thought of _people like me._

Carlisle never thought about relations outside of the norm around me, so I didn't know what his reaction to such a revelation would be. So, my fear of the unknown kept me quiet.

When we finally did decide to rejoin the rest of the world we needed an identity for me. A name for documents, and to tell any people we had to interact with. Obviously I couldn't be Edward Masen anymore. He had died.

Carlisle suggested I go by Cullen. Our cover would be that I was his brother. And so I became Edward Cullen. But I would not always go by that name. Only when I was with Carlisle would I go by that name. And I would not be with Carlisle for much longer at that point.

I had been afraid of my secrets before then, but the more years I spent with Carlisle the more I suspected that I didn't really need to hide myself from him. I was going to come clean with him. I was going to tell him everything. I was still terrified. He was all I had. If he rejected me, I had nowhere to go; no one to go to. It was these fears that had kept me quiet for as long as I had been. But I was convinced that he wouldn't reject me. Carlisle would never love me the way I loved him, or thought I loved him, but he would never kick me out either. I knew that. And I could accept that in his mind, I would always be his son and friend, and nothing more.

But before I had a chance to finally reveal my true self to him, everything changed.

It was 1921, we were living in Ashland, and he came home from the hospital with _her_ in his arms.

I won't go into details right now. Let's just say that after some time progressed, I realized that I could never stay with them and actually be able to be _myself_. I could never be _me_, as long as I was there. And I would always be alone. And it was because of _her_.

And so, a year and a half after he brought Esme home, I left.

It was nearly 1923 when I left, and I wouldn't be back until 1929. Looking back, those were the best six years of my life. I should have just stayed away... no. No, I don't really think that. And yet I do. Despite the freedom and self-discovery, I also succumb to temptation during that time, and if I had not finally returned to Carlisle, I can only imagine what I might have become.

During my years away, I was Edward Masen again. I was _me._ But when I returned to him I reverted back to Edward Cullen. But it was more than just a name then; it was my mask. The two names denoted the character I played. One was my true self, and the other was merely a part I played in an elaborate play. Nothing about me was real. Edward Cullen became an entirely manufactured persona.

In the beginning it was my armour; my protection. If anyone thought poorly of Edward Cullen, it didn't matter because that wasn't really me. Nothing bad said about Cullen could hurt me, because that wasn't me. But eventually Edward Cullen shifted from being my armour and protection, to being my _prison_. It happened so slowly I didn't even notice until it was too late for me to do anything about it.

In the mid 30's our family grew with the addition of two new members, and in the 40's I stagnated. I left for brief trips numerous times over the years to visit old friends I had made during my years away, but I always came back. As far as my family knew I was just going on extended solitary hunting trips to get away from the noise of everyone's voices in my head. Emmett, my brother who Carlisle had turned in 1935, imagined me sitting in the middle of the woods, or on top of some mountain, meditating or playing the role of some sort of ascetic.

The thought made me chuckle. _If only he knew what I was really doing..._

By the early 50's I was officially trapped in an endless rut. My 'hunting trips' away from the family were becoming more frequent, longer and were doing less and less good. My friends wondered why the hell I even went back anymore since I was always so miserable when it came time to part ways and return home; I honestly had to agree with them. I planned to leave over and over again, but always chickened out in the end.

The fundamental problem was that I loved my family. Emmett and Rosalie only made it that much harder to leave because I cared about both of them to a tremendous extent. My infatuation with my sire had died long ago, and all was left was familial love. I could never really think of Carlisle as a father, even though he saw me as his son. But I hadn't been _in _love with him since I left him and Esme in the 20's. Now he was simply my best friend.

_My best friend who didn't know me at all._

But that was the biggest problem. None of them actually knew me. It wasn't their fault. It was all my doing. I kept the real me completely hidden from all of them. Trapped inside the persona I created to protect myself. And it was that terrible, depressing, reality that finally made me decide to go.

At first I wasn't even sure if I'd tell them I was leaving.

I knew I was being a coward. I _should_ tell them. But I just didn't know how to do it.

I had my things packed. I'd reduced my trinkets and collectibles to the bare essentials and had four boxes packed away in the trunk of my Caddy. Considering how much of a hoarder and a pack rat I was, narrowing down my possessions to four boxes was quite a feat.

My duffle bag was still in my closet. I would be leaving most of my wardrobe behind, since the clothing I wore around my family right now was mostly made up of cardigan sweaters, Rayon button-downs, and casual suits with dress jackets. In my bag I had packed all my Daddy-o and Sir Guy shirts, my Teddy boy jackets along with all my jeans. I felt far more comfortable in those clothes and I felt more _me_ wearing them, but that didn't really mesh with the image my family associated me with.

In addition to the clothing I intended to bring, I'd packed a considerable amount of cash into it from my trip to Nevada last January with Mary, Randal, and Garrett. It had been great seeing them all again, and I'd given a hefty portion of my winnings to Mary and Randal since they wanted to try buying some property that they could call home and use as a base.

They weren't about to switch their preferred diet, but the stories I'd told them about being able to live in one location for multiple years at a time had got their imaginations running. They had only ever lived the lives of nomads before and the idea of _home_ was appealing. It wasn't like they couldn't run a couple hundred miles in any direction for feeding to keep people from connecting them with any unusual deaths. So they had decided to give living in one location a try for a while.

Garrett, in contrast, was the eternal wanderer, and just relished the opportunity to party with the group of us and laugh his ass of while I suckered people out of their money.

Garrett had met up with me only a couple hours after I'd left my family's home, for the drive down to Nevada, and he'd nearly died laughing when he'd seen me still wearing a pink rayon shirt with dark, mod motif, cotton blend slacks. I had intended to change into something more comfortable before meeting up with him, but he'd shown up early at our arranged meeting place. I'd literally had to start kicking his ass before he'd stop laughing and finally get into the damn car.

He spent the entire trip in Vegas cracking jokes on my preppy 'Ivy League' style, even though I'd stuck to jeans and Daddy-o's, or a straight up Teddy-Boy look for the rest of the trip.

Once I'd gotten back home, I had put the remainder of my winnings into several separate checking accounts that I had created using various aliases. I had already made up my mind to leave my family within the year, even as early as January, and knew it would be a beneficial precaution to spread the money around.

Of course my family was completely unaware of any of this. As far as they were concerned everything with me was _just peachy_. Nothing was unusual.

This was a week like any other. We were living near Powell Junction in Idaho's Clearwater National Forest, and since it was midsummer, we were secluding ourselves to our home in the mountains, while Carlisle commuted into town for the night shift at their tiny hospital and played the happy, helpful human.

We had been living in this house for a little under a year. Hunting was plentiful here, and the home we had built was spacious and comfortable. But I still didn't feel like I'd lived there long enough to call it home.

I wouldn't miss this place.

The others were planning on going hunting tomorrow. I had claimed that I declined to join them because I had gone hunting with Emmett only four days prior. Emmett never passed up a chance to go hunting with the family though, so he was going again anyway. They'd probably be away from the house for three days before they got back to find me gone.

I _would _leave them a letter, I decided. I owed them at least that much, plus I needed to tell them not to come looking for me. They'd be worried if I left without any word.

I wasn't sure what excuse I would use as to why I was leaving the family. When I had left Carlisle and Esme in the early 20's, I had told them that I was fed up with the endless burn in the back of my throat. That I was sick of pretending to be human, and that I was going to use my skill as a mind reader to find human scum, and finally be able to give in to my natural instincts and desires.

That really couldn't have been farther from the truth.

I wasn't really sure that I could make that excuse fly this time. And part of me really didn't want to use it even if it would work. So I wasn't honestly sure what I would tell them. I was hoping that the right words would just come to me when I finally sat down to write the letter.

One thing was for sure; I would not be telling them where I was going. Although the truth was that I didn't really _know_ where I was going.

I wasn't specifically meeting up with any old friends. I would probably visit some of them as I travelled, but I wasn't leaving so I could find them. I was leaving to find someone _new_. Specifically, I was leaving in hopes that _this time_ I would find _my_ someone special. I had been looking for that someone the first time I left Carlisle and Esme. I found a lot of good friends; plenty of _'friends with benefits'; _but no one who was looking for the permanence that I was. None of them were looking for a lifelong _mate_. And that's what I wanted. That was what I had yearned for, for almost my entire existence. That special connection that joins you both for eternity the very moment you meet. I wanted to feel that binding that had echoed through others minds. When Carlisle found Esme; when Rose found Emmett. I _needed_ to feel it.

I had no idea how long it might take me to find him. All I could do was hope he was out there. Somewhere.

But this day that had started out just like any other day took a drastic turn shortly after noon.

**AN: I have adopted this story from '****Athey****', creative acknowledgement to her for letting me play with her toys. This is my slash account as I do not want certain 'Prudes' who read my other work to know the inner filth of my mind. Please feel free to recommend any JxE slash or check out my favourites to read some truly amazing stories. **


	3. Let Me Read You

_**Idaho 1953**_

Our house was about five miles from Highway 12, down a little dirt road that no one ever used. We tried to have all our houses like that; completely secluded so no one ever came to visit us. Because of this, it came as a considerable shock when I heard two mental voices come within my telepathic range, and grow stronger and louder with each passing second.

The voices were crisp and clear, so even without listening to what these two people were thinking; I already knew they were vampires. Human thoughts were muffled and more disjointed in comparison to the sharp rapid thoughts of vampires.

I was on my feet and racing to the ground floor the moment my mind registered the intruders.

"Is anyone expecting visitors?" I asked the house at large. They all registered the seriousness of my tone and took pause in confusion as they processed my question. Carlisle was in the living room reading with Esme seated beside him on the couch and they both looked at me curiously.

"There are two vampires approaching from the road. They're driving," I continued.

This detail in and of itself was fairly odd. Most nomads didn't bother with cars.

Rosalie and Emmett were downstairs within the next moment and everyone was waiting for me to continue.

I focused on the thoughts of the two vampires, fishing for details.

"One is male, the other is female. The male seems... nervous? I can't really tell. Perhaps just on edge. The girl's thoughts are... erratic. But she's very excited."

"_...I hope Rosalie knows of at least one decent place within 100 miles to shop. I hate that they're so out in the middle of nowhere. I think Lewiston is the closest city with a decent sized population. Carlisle works in Powell Junction, but it's so small that shopping there is probably abysmal. Ugh... Wonder how many hours it would take to drive to Boise from here? I'll have to look into that..."_

"The female seems to know Rosalie," I said hesitantly.

Rose's eyes widened in surprise. "_Me_?"

"She thought about you, she wondered if you know of any decent places near by for shopping."

Rose snorted and rolled her eyes. "Fat chance."

"So they don't seem hostile?" Carlisle asked, looking hopeful.

"I'm not picking up on any hostile thoughts," I replied slowly as I continued to listen in.

They were close now. I made my way out the front door and the family followed. The group of us came to stand in front of the wide porch that stretched along the front and side of the first floor of the house, just as a red 2-door Chevy Styleline; my guess was that it was the '49 model; emerged from the tree line and came to a stop directly behind my Eldorado, effectively blocking me in since Carlisle's Studebaker was beside me on one side, and a tree was on the other.

"_Oh, the house is just beautiful!"_ the female's thoughts came out cheerful and light. She hopped out from the driver's side door of the car as soon as the engine was cut and she jumped up and down in place excitedly as she looked around at the house and then us with her wide _golden_ eyes.

Carlisle was the first of my family, aside from myself, to pick up on this detail. His excitement at seeing it was palpable.

Rosalie watched the energetic young woman with confused curiosity. I could tell from Rose's thoughts that she _did not_ know the girl, and she was wondering what this girl was doing thinking about her only a moment earlier.

The only friends that Rosalie had outside of our family was our very limited _extended_ family – a trio of female vampires that currently resided in Northern Canada. _"I wonder if they know Tanya and her sisters. Edward?"_

I glanced over at her quickly, giving her a sharp shrug before turning back to our visitors.

Carlisle was wondering the same thing since aside from us, Tanya's family was the only other group we knew of who followed our untraditional 'vegetarian' diet. My family's choice to feed off of animal blood, instead of human blood, led to our unusual eye colour. The eyes of vampires who fed on human blood were red. Ours were golden; just like the eyes of the hyper girl running towards my family right now.

She was racing over, still jumping up and down excitedly while she did it, so she came off as anything but threatening. Just the same, Emmett refused to take any risks and was immediately standing in front of Rosalie in a protective crouch.

The girl finally came to a stop, although she was still bouncing with excitement. She was short. Very short. Probably around 4'10", with oddly-short, black hair, however she was wearing a rather fashionable 2-piece dress. The top was white button-down with black trim around the collar0. The wide flared skirt was black as well, and pleated. It came down to just below her knees and flowed and bounced as she hopped around excitedly.

"I am so excited to finally be here!" she was squealing as she clapped her hands together in front of her. "I have been looking forward to this time in my life for _so _many years! When I first began having visions about your family I was just in absolute awe of you all and just _couldn't wait_ until it was finally time for me to come and join you. I've been so excited knowing that the time was finally drawing near!" She continued to ramble at a mile a minute and my family and I simply stood there dumbstruck.

"H_eaven's that girl never shuts up, does she? Doesn't know the meaning of the word subtle."_ The male's smooth mental voice drifted into my mind almost lazily. His thoughts were odd, his voice smooth but so subtle I only just caught it as I shifted my attention back to the car to watch as he opened the passenger side door and took a step out.

He stood up and I could tell he was tall; probably two or thee inches taller than me, even. He was wearing deep blue denim jeans that were worn-in and faded. They were boot cut and tattered and stringy along the bottom hem, revealing a pair of scuffed dusty cowboy boots underneath. He was wearing a western-style button-down shirt that was a maroon-brown colour with a grey along the top of the shoulders, the cuffs of the sleeves, and the trim on the two front chest pockets. His hair was shaggy and had a light wavy curl to it. It was a dish-water blond with darker roots and brighter highlights scatter throughout.

He had a beautiful structure to his face. Bright, piercing eyes; a long nose with a bit of a bump along the bridge and a small dimple in the centre of a sharp chin. I found him ridiculously attractive.

This realization was honestly rather depressing. The last thing I needed was a new unavailable temptation to be dancing around in front of me, taunting me. My intention to leave tomorrow would likely be postponed thanks to their arrival, if they were staying more than a day. Once they were gone, I'd still leave, but I couldn't risk abandoning my family and leaving them vulnerable with two unknown strange vampires having suddenly made an appearance.

Being the mind-reader of the family left me with the responsibility of digging around in the minds of these two to make sure they didn't have some ulterior motive, or a potentially dangerous hidden agenda in being here.

As the male turned and walked closer my gaze was drawn to his piercing eyes. They were golden, like ours, but there was a dark maroon ring along the inner and outer rims. He had either slipped sometime within the last month or two, or he was a recent convert.

The next moment my attention was drawn to his skin and I felt myself startle at the sight. Every bit of exposed skin was littered lightly with faint silver crescent-shaped scars. Emmett was observing this newcomer as well and the moment he registered the scars Emmett grew excited and stood even taller in front of Rosalie.

In his mind, Emmett registered both wariness and palpable excitement. This vampire was potentially very dangerous. The number of scars littering his skin denoted just how much action he must have seen in his years. But the truly impressive thing was that he had suffered that much action and survived it. That took skill.

But while Emmett was admiring the fact that this vampire was probably a skilled fighter, and potentially dangerous; I was consumed with the strangest excited arousal. The scars gave him a rugged, dangerous, and yet entirely far too enticing quality.

_The things I wanted this man to do to me..._

I shook the thought aside and refocused on what was going on around me. The short, crazed girl was still talking at a mile a minute and I realized I'd missed some things.

"Hey, hey, girly!" Rosalie said in a loud voice all of a sudden, raising her hands and stepping out from behind Emmett. "You are seriously going to need to slow down and explain because most of what you're saying makes absolutely no sense at all."

"Oh! I'm sorry," she said, finally pausing in her bubbly bouncing. She turned and watched as the male walked up behind her slowly, eying her with an amused expression, and shaking his head while chuckling. "I'll start with introductions. I'm Alice, and this is Jasper," she said nodding to the man.

She turned back to the group of us and began pointing. "Jasper, this is Carlisle Cullen and his wife Esme. This is Emmett McCarty and his wife Rosalie, and this is Edward," she finished with a bright proud smile on her face, while the group of us just stared at her in surprise.

"It's... it's a pleasure to meet the two of you," Esme said after a moment of stunned silence passed between the group of us.

"_Mmmhmmm... now that's one tall drink of water..."_ Jasper's mental voice drawled appreciatively. I glanced over at him, trying to catch who he was referring to, but just caught him staring at me. Our eyes met for only a brief moment before we both looked elsewhere. His mind was… strange, his thoughts, while there flowed like water through is mind never seeming to take root. Further immersing myself in his delicate flow of thoughts I swiftly came to the conclusion that Jasper seemed to relate to the world in emotion and senses rather than solid thoughts which is what I was used to. It was strangely relaxing whilst being rather worrying.

His thoughts quickly turned negative as he scolded himself to stay focused.

"Alice," Carlisle began, drawing me back to the conversation that was going on around me, and snapping me out of the natural calm the surrounded me in Jasper's head. "I must say, I'm curious as to how you –"

"Know who you all are?" she asked, cutting him off and smiling knowingly. He simply nodded. "Well, I should start out by telling you all that I have a rather unique power."

Carlisle's eyes lit up at this. He was always fascinated to meet vampires with powers. I was the only one in our family that possessed one. Vampires with gifts weren't terribly common, but he'd met a fair number during his many years, and his travels before he sired me.

"I have visions," Alice said simply.

"Visions?" Carlisle asked, hoping for clarification.

"Yes. I can see events that have yet to happen, based on people's decisions and choices. I can't say for sure why I've had visions of your family, but I've had them my entire vampire life. Ever since the day I woke to this life."

"You've been having visions of _us?_" Rosalie asked disbelievingly.

"Yes," Alice answered cheerfully with a bright smile. "For literally decades I woke to my life as a vampire all alone and with no memories of my human life. Who ever sired me left me. The only reason I had any idea of what I was, or how to live my life, was because of the visions I had of Carlisle and Edward, when Edward was still fairly new to this life."

Carlisle and I shared a stunned look. Neither of us was quite sure what to make of this revelation.

"When were you turned?" Carlisle asked.

"In 1920."

"We were only just starting to –" Carlisle began, looking at me.

"Just starting to introduce him to humans again. Yes," Alice said, nodding. "The caution you were taking with the reintroduction was what made me first realize that I needed to keep away from humans, if I wanted to prevent myself from attacking them."

"Whoa, there. Wait," Emmett said, raising his hands into the air. "Are you saying, you've been having visions of this family for more than thirty _years_?"

"Yup," the pixie confirmed.

"Then why didn't you come to find us sooner?" Rosalie asked, with a disbelievingly dumbstruck expression.

"I couldn't come any sooner than this," Alice replied simply.

"Uh... why not?" Emmett asked.

"I just couldn't. It wasn't time yet. It was important that things happen in the right order. It wasn't time for me to join you until now."

My family shared a silent look, not entirely sure what to make of her oddly cryptic statement.

"She does that a lot," Jasper said with a smirk. His voice was warm and rich, it flowed over me like honey and I had to stop myself from shuddering in the pure pleasure I experienced when hearing it.

"The cryptic stuff, I mean," he clarified with a chuckle. "She still hasn't giv'n me a straight answer to why she went t'so much trouble to track me down."

"How long have the pair of you been together?" Esme asked.

"Only fer the last two months, ma'am," he said with a gentle nod of his head.

"Oh? Is that all?" Esme responded, surprised.

"Before I found Jasper, he'd never heard of any alternative diets, so he's only recently started hunting animals," Alice said.

Jasper shot her a wary look and sighed lightly. His thoughts held worry as they flowed through his mind; I only just managed to catch the tail end of his thoughts before they too flowed away from my grasp._"…Still don't get why the hell we couldn't have jus' waited another two weeks to come here like we'd originally planned. The red would have been gone by then."_

He seemed to be uncomfortably self conscious about his eyes, and was clearly worried about how accepting we would be of someone who had so recently been feeding off of human blood.

From his thoughts I could tell that he was unclear on numerous details, but had gotten the impression from Alice that our entire family had abstained from human blood our entire vampire lives. While that was actually accurate for Carlisle, Esme, and Rosalie, Emmett had had numerous slips in his early years and I... well, I'd had my time away from them when I was younger.

"_God I hope I can do this. I need this. I need... fuck. I just need the violence to end. I can't do this alone. So tired of being alone..."_

I startled at his thoughts. They were so intense. So desperate. I felt for him. His thoughts were sincere and honest. There was clearly a lot of hurt inside him and part of me yearned to find a way to provide him some comfort. I wanted to go to him, wrap him in my arms and run my fingers through those honey-golden curls. I had never had such a strong desire like this, an incessant pull to comfort another.

Alice began talking animatedly again. She was going on about how she had been looking forward to this point for years. She started explaining the various mechanics of her ability to Carlisle while he asked one curious intrigued question after the next.

I quickly became bored with the current conversation and found much more pleasure in burying myself deep into Jaspers mind, letting his soothing thoughts flow through us both, it was oddly calming and I felt myself relax completely for the first time in my vampire life around my family members.

He was watching each of us individually, sizing us up before swiftly moving on to the next with a calculating look lurking in his eyes.

As he settled his mixed coloured eyes on me a sharp spark of want shoot through my body. He was beautiful and troubled and all I wanted to do was drag him to the forest to have my way with him and his gorgeous body and comforting mind.

His eyes flickered up to me as one word repeated in his mind.

_Lust?_

My eyes widened in panic, what if he somehow knew what I wanted to do with him, he could tell them, he could destroy my perfectly built mask in just a few seconds.

_That boy is fine as a frogs hair split four ways. Hard to imagine how someone like him hasn't been snatched up by some pretty lil' girl. Wonder what could have led to him being solo all this time? _

"_Hell, fer all I know he jus' prefers staying a free agent. Maybe he doesn't wan' to settle down? Lor' knows I've run into plenty of nomads over the years that have no desire to commit."_ He gave a heavy sigh at that thought. "_'Course none of that really matters, chances that he might actually swing that way are next to nil."_

His thoughts had me staring at him openly, in an utterly stunned silence. I wasn't entirely sure if I was reading too much into his words or not... I told myself that I was probably just hearing what my mind wanted to, but it seemed that _he_ might actually be interested in _me. _

Jaspers eyes met mine then, confusion running through his mind as he examined me, eyes darting from my own over the rest of my body before again meeting my eyes, a small frown appearing on his face.

The small pixie-like vampire he arrived with gave a sudden, high pitch squeal that I'm sure only we and dogs got the pleasure of hearing. Both our heads snapped to the rest of my family. Rosalie was smiling at Alice as they followed behind Carlisle and Esme into the house. Emmett was left to trail in their wake; a pained frown no doubt caused from Alice marred his face. As I trailed after Jasper into our home my eyes could not be stopped as they strayed along his finely toned body. I'm screwed if they decide to stay.


End file.
